


Office Christmas Party

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: AU Canon Divergence, Christmas Party, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, Post Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: Attending the office Christmas party is always bound to be full of surprises, especially in Twin Peaks.





	Office Christmas Party

**Author's Note:**

> Lord help me I’m back on my bullshit

A jolly Christmas tune played over the station’s PA system. Decorations covered the whole building, glittering garlands and bright lights giving an air of festivity to the normally droll place. Yes, that could only mean one thing: it was time for the office Christmas party. 

A yearly occasion, organized by Lucy, in which all of the deputies and their spouses/partners came together in a semi-awkward gathering. There’s always a secret Santa, a yankee swap, and the distribution of yearly superlatives for things like “hottest deputy” and “best handwriting” and “prettiest nails” (which Lucy herself usually wins). This year, the newest addition to the station had been invited. 

Yes, after the ordeal with Earle, Dale Cooper decided to stay in Twin Peaks. The place just spoke to his soul, connected to him in a way nowhere else could. So he bought himself a little house and settled himself into town working as a deputy at the sheriff’s station. The people in town seemed to like him well enough. Everyone at the station was glad he stayed, and Norma at the diner was glad because he spent almost $1000 on pie and coffee alone over the course of two months. And the sheriff seemed to be glad too, though he wasn’t quite one to talk about his feelings. 

The sheriff, one Harry S. Truman, was an honest and kind man dedicated to being the best sheriff he can be for the town. He liked birdwatching, and fly fishing, and maybe reading the occasional book. Despite all of his excellent character traits, he was still single after Josie’s death. 

Dale had two hypotheses about why that could be. One, he was scared out of commitment because of how much Josie had hurt him, and he may never date again. Or two, he was in love with someone else and was too scared to mention anything. Either option was a bit of a disappointment to Dale. Because over the course of the eight months he had been in Twin Peaks, he had developed quite a little crush on the sheriff. Ironically enough, he himself never said anything because he was scared of rejection. And scared of losing Harry as a friend. 

So, the Christmas party. Dale had chosen the ugliest possible sweater to wear, one with Rudolph leaping across a red background. It had a working light in the nose, and bells on the antlers so that with every step he took, he jingled. As he drove to the station, he felt a twinge of nervousness. He had attended a few work parties before, but never one that so many people would be going to. There would undoubtedly be boozy eggnog and people embarrassing themselves under a bunch of conveniently placed mistletoe. Yes, he would have to avoid that like the plague. 

Dale got there a few minutes early, and saw the incredibly pregnant Lucy trying to stand on a table and hang one last strand of lights. He immediately ran over to her. “Hey, let me help you with that.”

“Thanks Agent Cooper, but I got it.” She taped a length of it to the wall with clear plastic tape and proceeded onto the next length. 

“Lucy, you’re pregnant. No one would want you falling off this table and getting hurt. And besides, it’ll be easier for me. My arms are longer.”

Lucy sighed, sitting down on the table. “Fine, but don’t mess it up.”

Standing on the table, Dale began to tape the rest of the lights up. Tape didn’t seem like the best option, but it was better than staples, he supposed. “You don’t have to call me agent anymore, you know. Deputy Cooper, or even just Dale work fine.”

“Yeah, but we all got so used to calling you agent that I didn’t want to bother changing what I called you. Plus it helps me keep track of you, when everyone else is called deputy and you’re the only agent.”

“If it really helps you keep track, then feel free to continue. I would hate to disrupt your system.”

“I mean, it’s no big deal, but it is a little inconvenient.”

“Sure.”

A bell on the door rang, signaling the entrance of another partygoer. It was the sheriff himself, dressed in a reasonable turtleneck and holding a large plate of cookies. Dale suddenly felt out of place with his hideous sweater. 

“Glad I’m not the first one here.” Said the sheriff. “Where should I leave these?”

“Over there.” Lucy pointed to a table off to the side, sporting a fancy red and green tablecloth. 

Dale looked over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of the sheriff. “Make those yourself?”

“Yessir, from my grandmother’s recipe. Which is the same as the recipe on the nestle chocolate chip bag, but I never questioned her.” 

“Harry Truman, you really are a jack of all trades.”

A light blush crossed Harry’s cheeks. “I’m just good at reading a recipe.”

“Agent Cooper, you put it up sideways!” Exclaimed Lucy, knocking Dale out of the stupor created by the sheriff. 

“Sorry, sorry.” He really had done it poorly, with this section lights a half foot further down the wall than the rest of them. “I’ll fix that pronto.”

“Lucy, you’ve done it again.” Said the sheriff with his hands on his hips. “Have you ever thought about going into event planning?”

“I have, but then I wouldn’t be able to learn all of the town’s police drama straight from the source. Plus, I like working here. You guys are nicer than a lot of guys in the event management business.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

Dale finished hanging the lights and jumped off the table, the bells on his shirt jingling satisfyingly. “So how many people are we expecting for this shindig, anyway?”

“A dozen, maybe more. I’m not really sure since we don’t have an RSVP system, but I’m judging by who normally comes and people who already told me they were coming.” Lucy took a labored breath. “Though I don’t know how long I’ll be staying. I haven’t felt so good today.”

“Don’t push yourself.” The sheriff said. 

“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.”

A few minutes later, more guests had arrived. Dale recognized most of them, though there were a few that he hadn’t met before, usually spouses or girlfriends of some of the younger deputies. Luckily, quite a few people were wearing sweaters that rivaled his in ugliness and so he felt less self-conscious about his choice in clothing. 

He had been floating around for most of the party, but decided to take a break from talking in order to dive in to the elaborate pot-luck buffet of snacks and various party foods. About halfway through a serving of potato salad, the sheriff approached him, and suddenly he forgot how to eat. 

“We’ve had quite a year, haven’t we?” The sheriff began. 

“Oh yes. Everyone’s life has been shaken up by the events with Laura, Earle, and Bob. I’m just glad things have settled down for the town.”

“I know. Those were such a rough few months that now the stuff we deal with seems like a dream.” Harry looked down, before making eye contact with Dale. “I just wanna say, I’m glad you stayed in Twin Peaks. The place just wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Ah, it lasted well enough without me before I came.”

“But now that you’re here, I can’t imagine what it would be like if you left.”

Dale felt himself blush. “I’m glad you think so, Harry. Truly, you are one of a kind.” 

“So are you.”

Dale looked upwards and realized that they were standing directly below a bunch of mistletoe. He pointed up at it. “Would you look at that. Mistletoe. Lucy really did think of everything.” He held his breath. The next few seconds would determine how his relationship with Harry would change, for better or for worse. 

Harry took a step closer, taking the plate out of Dale’s hand and putting it down on a chair beside them. Then, he took Dale’s hands into his own. “You know the rules.”

“Two people standing under conveniently placed mistletoe are required by law to kiss. It actually started as an Ancient Greek tradition, since mistletoe was seen as a symbol of fertility.” He realized he was beginning to ramble out of nervousness. Clearing his throat, Dale said, “We should probably get to that, then.”

Dale closed his eyes, and he could feel the warmth of Harry’s breath on his lips. Leaning in, he was just a hair away from kissing him when a scream rang out through the station. 

Dale froze, his eyes flying open. “What was that?”

“I don’t know, but I think we should find out.”

They ran in the direction of where the scream came from, finding Lucy sitting in a chair, breathing heavily, squeezing Andy’s hand. 

“Lucy, what happened?” The sheriff asked hurriedly. 

“I’m going into labor!” She yelled, before crying out in pain. 

“Oh, shit.” Harry muttered. “Do you think we have time to get you to a hospital?” 

“How should I know? I’ve never done this before!”

Dale nodded. “I’ll call Doc Hayward.” 

Running back down the hall, Dale reached Harry’s office and picked up the phone, calling up the doctor and telling him to get there immediately. He then went outside, waiting for the doctor so he could escort him in as quickly as possible. 

“How far apart are the contractions?” Asked Doc, as they rushed down the hall. 

“I have no idea. You’d better ask her.”

When they got to the room, Lucy looked as if she were ready to kill a man. The doctor immediately attended to her, and Harry returned to Dale’s side. Somehow, Harry’s hand ended up entwined with Dale’s. 

“You two should probably go.” Doc said. “This might take a while.”

Hand in hand, the duo made their way into Harry’s office. 

“Wow.” Muttered Dale. “I can honestly say I didn’t expect that to happen at the office Christmas party.”

“You know Twin Peaks. Always full of surprises.” 

Dale glanced down at their connected hands. “It certainly is.” 

Within the blink of an eye, Harry’s lips were on his. With both of his hands he gripped the front of Harry’s shirt, pulling him as close as possible. He never wanted it to end, but eventually, he did have to breathe. 

“Harry,” Dale muttered breathlessly, “Harry.” 

“I love you, Coop.” Harry pressed a kiss to Dale’s cheek, and to his nose, to his forehead, to his temple. 

“I love you too, Harry. God, do I love you.” 

Dale felt himself being pushed back, until he was sitting on top of Harry’s desk. He had had dreams not unlike this, but this was better than any dream. This was real. The sheriff’s hands really were traveling sensuously up his thighs, all while kissing him deeply. Harry was, without a doubt, very good at this. 

As Harry kisses his way down Dale’s neck, Dale couldn’t suppress a moan. He wrapped his legs around Harry, and the sheriff’s hand rubbed just the right spot to get Dale hard as a rock. 

Just as Dale was about to return the favor, the door to the office flew open, revealing a shocked and embarrassed young deputy and his girlfriend. They apologized profusely and left, but it had rather ruined the mood. 

“There’s probably somewhere more private we could be doing this.” Dale said, nipping at Harry’s ear. 

“My place or yours?”

“Which is closer?”

“Mine, I think.”

“Then we’ll go to your place.” Dale had a feeling they wouldn’t even be able to make it that far. The car would probably have to do. “I wonder how Lucy is doing.”

“Probably fine. Doc delivered pretty much every single person in town who’s younger than him, so I trust he’ll get the job done.”

“That’s good.” He leaned in and whispered, “Now, let’s get going before I’m forced to bone you right here in this office.”

“What, like that’s a bad thing?”


End file.
